People who tell you that they experience complete happiness every hour of every day are delusional. For example: If you sent someone a virus warning by forwarding the email so they could see what it looked like and forgot to remove the infected attachment, or if some barista screwed up the order and you got espresso–which you drank–instead of decaffeinated, or if you put on mismatched socks because it was early in the morning and still dark outside, and you had to endure working like that in the office all day, there’s a “shit” or “wtf” or something like it in there somewhere, even if you don’t say it out loud.
Come on. That’s life, and it gets tough sometimes. It’s not supposed to be perfect. But what about the brain injured, including stroke, who have more good reasons for having a sub-par day. What about them?
Without further ado, here is my list for achieving happiness as a stroke survivor, in no particular order because they each make me smile–and yes, for a prolonged while.
4. Trying a new meal
I like try new to try new recipes at home and that makes me happy if it meets the requirements. I can’t use a knife with only one hand so the recipe has to contain bite-sized pieces that I could munch on or sandwiches that I can hold. For example, my assistant bakes chicken (I don’t like the deli stuff) and, when it’s finished, slices it up with a teaspoon of barbecue sauce drizzled over the chicken, and puts it on low carb wheat bread. The remainder she freezes, wrapping them individually in tin foil. Ask me in the Comments section for other recipes if you can’t use a knife.
5. Walking faster with my quad cane
It’s a difficult line to draw. I do not want to jeopardize safety by walking too fast, yet I walk too slow for fear of going too fast. So how fast is too fast?
In the study Determinants of Walking Function After Stroke: Differences by Deficit Severity,” Dr. Shawnna L. Patterson et al found that “balance, cardiovascular fitness, and paretic [having paralysis] leg strength are all important factors involved in determining a person’s long and short-distance walking function after stroke. Balance is more important in those with more severe gait deficits, whereas cardiovascular fitness plays a greater role in those with milder deficits.”
I want both–balance and cardiovascular. So trial and error will not be looked by me as a drudge but rather as an adventure in walking.
6. Watching human-like animal behavior
I’m healthily addicted–and happy–when I see ordinary animals doing extraordinary things. In the image above, Tori, the Indonesian Orangutan, goes to her zoo keepers when she has a tantrum if she doesn’t get her daily fix!
And then there’s Abe, my son’s cat, who eats corn on the cob if my son holds the cob on both ends. Munch, munch, goes Abe without pausing. Hilarious!
7. Finishing sentences using the right words
It brings me great happiness when I can finish a sentence on my own! I have aphasia, a communication disorder that in my case is finding the right word, usually the last word. “It’s so, er, um,” I would say in the beginning of the disorder post-stroke, struggling to finish the sentence. It’s improving, but I’m working tediously to fix it by looking up every word obsessively that’s new to me or getting a different slant on a word already known. It’s a mental workout. I tell people who want to finish my sentence in a nice way to fuck off. And to think that I used to speak for a living!
8. Taking a long shower
I love a warm shower to the point of smiling. Dr. David Greuner, surgical director of NYC Surgical Associates, says, “Generally speaking, the ideal shower is a warm, five to ten minute shower. Hot showers are great when you’re sick to help moisturize the nasal passages and help decongest you.” And most people know that a hot shower can also ease aching in sore muscles (which I always have).
9. Making peace of mind my priority
When my sons are happy and healthy simultaneously, when I’m not falling, when I have money left at the end of the month, when my frozen-to-microwave chicken sandwiches didn’t run out before a marketing trip, when all my plants are bug free, I have peace of mind. And that make me happy.
10. Joining hands around the globe for world peace
Not gonna happen tomorrow, or next week either. But when it does, you’ll see me smiling broadly.
Write about your list in the Comments section and I’ll feature it in the blog!
Or maybe you don’t have any list. In that case, please get on it. In my opinion, things that make you happy are to be known and celebrated.
Your list DID come through, Michael T! Thanks!
1. Waking up without soreness, anywhere, would be great.
2. Coffee. 1st cup of the day.
3. Balance without nausea. perfect.
4. A good brisk walk without falling or constantly feeling like falling.
5. Beautiful music to suit my current mood – I love all sorts from soft classical to in-your-face loud rock! Depends.
6. Long. hot showers. Just cos they warm my core
7. Eye to eye contact with someone I love.
8. scrumptuous meals of mixed tastes/flavours. Roast meats with veges are a fav.
9. Being able to cook said meals! I can! After 21 years I can cook again!
10. Hugs and cuddles. I'm not particular who from, I just love cuddles and hugs. I guess it's the touch thing. Without words!