Everybody makes mistakes, but for the brain-injured, it might be more serious, even what you think was a simple fall. A majority have caregivers, but the caregivers, too, makes mistakes. I believe in two chances to correct the error, but in the case of brain-injured folks, it might be the very last decision you’ll ever make.
Some people say I’m an expert on what caregivers shouldn’t do because I’ve had the gamut. Read the following table to see what some different caregivers reactions were with me.Â
Me and different caregivers: | Caregiver reaction: | Follow-up: |
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She and I sat down for lunch at the dining table. When I asked her for a fork and a spoon, she said: | “I’m eating lunch now. You’ll have to wait until I’m finished.” | I fired her when the day was over by the phone call. |
My caregiver’s bag dropped and all the contents spilled out. I was surprised because some of those contents looked like illicit drugs. She cried and said: | “I didn’t want to tell you, but when I’m stressed, I take cocaine to calm my nerves.” | I fired her when the day was over by the phone call. |
I was eating lunch with my caregiver at a local IKEA when suddenly, I fell off the chair and landed on the floor. | She had NO reaction and continued eating her strawberry salad while others sitting near us came over to assist me eventually. | I fired her when the day was over by the phone call. |
I am obsessed with death all the time, and I shared this feeling with the caregiver repeatedly. When were passing by a cemetery, she entered the cemetery and toured around while we were on our way to a doctor’s appointment and said: | “You might be buried some day here.” It showed that my feelings were not heard by the caregiver or she chose to ignore them. And we were late for the appointment. | I fired her when the day was over by the phone call. |
These are mistakes that the caregivers do. These mistakes were unacceptable, imho.
Poor Communication Approaches:
Brain injuries often affect language clarification but not intelligence. Common mistakes include:
- Asking multiple questions at once
- Not using supportive communication tools when appropriate (pictures, gestures)
- Speaking loudly when hearing isn’t affected
- Using childish language or tone (“baby talk”)
- Not allowing enough time for clarifying information
- Finishing sentences often prematurely
Better ways include talking in short, explicit sentences and giving additional time for responses before moving on.
Caregiver Burnout:
You have to know why you’re at caregiver first. Is it for the pay or to make extra cash between jobs? Caregivers often don’t pay attention to their own needs, leading to physical and emotional weariness. Symptoms often include feeling irritable, persistent fatigue, sleep problems, withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed, weight changes, and ignoring your own health.
These signs not only affects you but lessen your ability to provide excellent care. Regular quality care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for continuous care. Even recruiting family members, taking short breaks, and using support groups can stop burnout.
Overkill for the Survivor:
Caregivers often help out of affection or concern, but this can be too much for the survivor. When you consistently speak for someone, dress, and feed someone who could do these tasks with more assistance or time, you prevent necessary rewiring of the brain. The brain has to rebuild pathways called neuroplasticity.
For example, if a survivor is tortuously buttoning a shirt, the tendency might be to do it for the survivor, but providing equipment like button hooks or allowing extra minutes sustains recovery better than taking charge.
Rehabilitation Routines:
Recovery from brain injuries requires consistent repetition. When home exercises recommended by therapists are overlooked, progress diminishes or eventually stops completely. Combine a daily routine that uses therapy exercises normal habits.
For example, perform hand exercises while watching TV or balance exercises during getting up or sitting down. Use progress notes to keep that survivor motivated, as improvements are often slow-going and obvious to forget when observed on an every-day basis.
Ignoring Psychological Support:
Zeroing in on physical recovery while ignoring depression, anxiety, and grief is a serious oversight. About 40 to 50 percent of stroke survivors acquire depression, which can significantly delay or stop recovery if untreated.
Look out for ominous signs like sleep changes, loss of interest, or withdrawal in wanting rehabilitation. Counseling, support groups, and sometimes medication can be necessary elements toward recovery.
Misunderstanding Behavioral Outbursts:
Many caregivers take emotional or personality changes, or inappropriate behavior to heart, when these are symptoms of the brain injury. A previously calm-mannered individual might become upset or use foul language because of brain damage. Comprehending the neurological reason helps caregivers acknowledge more productively and which lowers emotional stress.
Non-adequate Safety Changes:
Ignoring the modifications of the home lead to likely falls and injuries. Common oversights include:
- Lack of grab bars in the bathroom
- Not addressing cognitive safety issues like turning off a stove
- Failing to remember medications that affects safety
- Not removing trip hazards like area rugs
- Inadequate lighting, especially on stairs and at night
An inspection with an occupational therapist can identify known hazards for your home.
Establishing Impractical Predictions:
Recovery timelines vary tremendously, partially on injury severeness, location, and age. Some caregivers expect a fast recovery, and are disappointed when progress slows down. Working with healthcare providers will set achievable short-term goals and help aid motivation without creating unnecessary anxiety.
Skipping Medication Doses:
Brain injury and stroke survivors often take various medications on multiple schedules. Skipping doses or the wrong time to take those medications can lead to complications. Using pill organizers or smartphone reminders, for example, can help protect when-to-take-what.Â
Overlooking Nutrition Needs:
Many survivors have swallowing difficulties called dysphagia that require help to prevent aspirational pneumonia. Others have changed eating habits to aid brain recovery or manage secondary conditions like diabetes. Working with a dietitian to develop often new meal plans, learning proper food consistency, and providing hydration are important conditions of care frequently overlooked.
Failing to Advocate Effectively:
Caregivers who don’t integrate with providers or ask strongly for needed services may overlook important solutions. The caregiver has to assemble important questions before appointments and adhere repeatedly when referrals or services are set, postponed, or cancelled.
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To the brain-injured: Even if they’re pleasant and sweet, you should say goodbye to caregivers who don’t follow my whole list. Practicing the verbiage you’ll use to fire caregivers is an extreme asset. And it’s better to do it on the phone after the caregiver leaves.
Use my line if you want:Â I don’t think this arrangement between you and me will work out. So you’re done working for me. Short and concise is the way to go. Remember: you’re the boss!

Joyce, excellent, so helpful in seeing when and how to draw boundaries. Thanks!!
Kate