When I had my stroke, I made it home later after 4 months in rehab. I had my own house but lived with a man-child who had temper tantrums constantly, and because my younger son was going off to college and I feared living alone (even though now I think it’s silly), the man-child was available. When I had my stroke, his temper increased to the point where I had to leave, and I did just that.
That’s why the title of this blog is so crucial. After a brain injury—whether stroke, TBI, or both—you’re in a vulnerable place both physically, neurologically, and emotionally. The people you spend time with can either support your recovery or send it to purgatory, sometimes forever. So here are the kinds of people it’s best to avoid:
Be Positive For the Right Reasons (perhaps the most important)
People’s negativity can zap you even further of limited mental energy and force you to have mood swings.
On the other hand, compelling you to be always positive can flop after a brain injury because:
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Invalidates real emotions like independence and lost abilities in being told to just stay positive
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Creates guilt after being told you’re not trying hard enough
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Blocks problem‑solving by overlooking challenges in favor of platitudes
Instead:
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Acknowledge you’re angry or scared
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Realistic optimism by knowing your weaknesses
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Emotional acceptance by practicing mindfulness or choosing actions based on values, not mood
The right balance comes across by:
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Validating your low days
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Noticing and making a fuss over small wins
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Associating yourself with real support by letting you vent
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Authenticating recovery by acknowledging challenging emotions with value‑driven action
Avoid Overly Critical People
- Those who judge your speed of recovery
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People who validate you should just push through because they know someone who did, ignoring the fact that every stroke or TBI is different
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“Positivity” taken to an extreme can lead into “toxic positivity,” where that kind of forced glee can possibly make you feel more misunderstood
High‑Stimulus, Noisy Environments
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Overcrowded social settings with unpredictable noise and movement
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Unpredictable friends who force you into new, brain-harming adventures doomed to your failure, leading to headaches and confusion
People Who Dismiss Your Needs
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People who minimize emotional challenges by assessing them to their forgetfulness
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Folks who dispute your wanting quiet time and rest breaks
Enablers of Poor Habits
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Friends who peer-pressure you into overlooking therapy exercises or late‑night movies when all you need is rest
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Social groups that whirl around talks of work or high-intensity multitasking
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Falling back into hectic patterns can slow or reverse recovery
Your next steps should be expanding your network by looking for stroke/TBI support groups where you’ll find people just like you. Envelop yourself with people who know your speed and sensory limits to give you the best justification for continuing your recovery.
So real and validating! Thank you so much. This information is such a great reminder of self care